ILIA ORACLE
M.R.SHA'BANZAD
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Blonde Logic
Blonde LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away.......... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says, "Helloooooooo, can you see Florida ...???"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.? After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde? on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me!"
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said.? "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL? OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like? that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away.......... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says, "Helloooooooo, can you see Florida ...???"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.? After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde? on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me!"
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said.? "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL? OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like? that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
داوینچی و شام آخر
لئوناردو داوینچی موقع کشیدن تابلو "شام آخر" دچار مشکل بزرگی شد:
می بایست "نیکی" را به شکل عیسی" و "بدی" را به شکل "یهودا" یکی از یاران عیسی که هنگام شام تصمیم گرفت به او خیانت کند، تصویر می کرد.کار را نیمه تمام رها کرد تا مدل های آرمانی اش را پیدا کند.
روزی دریک مراسم همسرایی, تصویر کامل مسیح را در چهرة یکی از جوانان همسرا یافت.
جوان را به کارگاهش دعوت کرد و از چهره اش اتودها و طرح هایی برداشت. سه سال گذشت.
تابلو شام آخر تقریباً تمام شده بود ؛ اما داوینچی هنوز بری یهودا مدل مناسبی پیدا نکرده بود…کاردینال مسئول کلیسا کم کم به او فشار می آورد که نقاشی دیواری را زودتر تمام کند.
نقاش پس از روزها جست و جو , جوان شکسته و ژنده پوش مستی را در جوی آبی یافت. به زحمت از دستیارانش خواست او را تا کلیسا بیاورند , چون دیگر فرصتی بری طرح برداشتن از او نداشت.
گدا را که درست نمی فهمید چه خبر است به کلیسا آوردند، دستیاران سرپا نگه اش داشتند و در همان وضع داوینچی از خطوط بی تقوایی، گناه و خودپرستی که به خوبی بر آن چهره نقش بسته بودند، نسخه برداری کرد.
وقتی کارش تمام شد گدا، که دیگر مستی کمی از سرش پریده بود، چشمهایش را باز کرد و نقاشی پیش رویش را دید، و با آمیزه ای از شگفتی و اندوه گفت: "من این تابلو را قبلاً دیده ام!"
داوینچی شگفت زده پرسید: کی؟!
گدا گفت: سه سال قبل، پیش از آنکه همه چیزم را از دست بدهم. موقعی که در یک گروه همسرایی آواز می خواندم , زندگی پراز رویایی داشتم، هنرمندی از من دعوت کرد تا مدل نقاشی چهرة عیسی بشوم!"
می توان گفت: نیکی و بدی یک چهره دارند ؛ همه چیز به این بسته است که هر کدام کی سر راه انسان قرار بگیرند.
می بایست "نیکی" را به شکل عیسی" و "بدی" را به شکل "یهودا" یکی از یاران عیسی که هنگام شام تصمیم گرفت به او خیانت کند، تصویر می کرد.کار را نیمه تمام رها کرد تا مدل های آرمانی اش را پیدا کند.
روزی دریک مراسم همسرایی, تصویر کامل مسیح را در چهرة یکی از جوانان همسرا یافت.
جوان را به کارگاهش دعوت کرد و از چهره اش اتودها و طرح هایی برداشت. سه سال گذشت.
تابلو شام آخر تقریباً تمام شده بود ؛ اما داوینچی هنوز بری یهودا مدل مناسبی پیدا نکرده بود…کاردینال مسئول کلیسا کم کم به او فشار می آورد که نقاشی دیواری را زودتر تمام کند.
نقاش پس از روزها جست و جو , جوان شکسته و ژنده پوش مستی را در جوی آبی یافت. به زحمت از دستیارانش خواست او را تا کلیسا بیاورند , چون دیگر فرصتی بری طرح برداشتن از او نداشت.
گدا را که درست نمی فهمید چه خبر است به کلیسا آوردند، دستیاران سرپا نگه اش داشتند و در همان وضع داوینچی از خطوط بی تقوایی، گناه و خودپرستی که به خوبی بر آن چهره نقش بسته بودند، نسخه برداری کرد.
وقتی کارش تمام شد گدا، که دیگر مستی کمی از سرش پریده بود، چشمهایش را باز کرد و نقاشی پیش رویش را دید، و با آمیزه ای از شگفتی و اندوه گفت: "من این تابلو را قبلاً دیده ام!"
داوینچی شگفت زده پرسید: کی؟!
گدا گفت: سه سال قبل، پیش از آنکه همه چیزم را از دست بدهم. موقعی که در یک گروه همسرایی آواز می خواندم , زندگی پراز رویایی داشتم، هنرمندی از من دعوت کرد تا مدل نقاشی چهرة عیسی بشوم!"
می توان گفت: نیکی و بدی یک چهره دارند ؛ همه چیز به این بسته است که هر کدام کی سر راه انسان قرار بگیرند.
SLOW FOOD
١٨ سال پيش من در شرکت سوئدى ولوو استخدام شدم. کار کردن در اين شرکت تجربه جالبى براى من به وجود آورده است. اينجا هر پروژهاى حداقل ٢ سال طول ميکشد تا نهايى شود، حتى اگر ايده ساده و واضحى باشد. اين قانون اينجاست. جهانى شدن (globalization) باعث شده است که همه ما در جستجوى نتايج فورى و آنى باشيم. و اين مشخصاً با حرکت کند سوئديها در تناقض است. آنها معمولاً تعداد زيادى جلسه برگزار ميکنند، بحث ميکنند، بحث ميکنند، بحث ميکنند و خيلى به آرامى کارى را پيش ميبرند. ولى در انتها، اين شيوه هميشه به نتايج بهترى می انجامد. به عبارت ديگر:
سوئد در حدود 450000 کيلومتر مربع وسعت دارد.
سوئد حدود 9 ميليون جمعيت دارد.
استكهلم، پايتخت سوئد كه به پايتخت اسكانديناوي نيز مشهور است حدود 78000 نفر جمعيت دارد.
ولوو، اسکانيا، ساب، الکترولوکس و اريکسون برخى از شرکتهاى توليدى سوئد هستند.
اولين روزهايي كه در سوئد بودم، يکى از همکارانم هر روز صبح با ماشينش مرا از هتل برميداشت و به محل کار ميبرد. ماه سپتامبر بود و هوا کمى سرد و برفى. ما صبحها زود به کارخانه ميرسيديم و همکارم ماشينش را در نقطه دورى نسبت به ورودى ساختمان پارک ميکرد. در آن زمان، ٢٠٠٠ کارمند ولوو با ماشين شخصى به سر کار ميآمدند.
روز اول، من چيزى نگفتم، همين طور روز دوم و سوم. روز چهارم به همکارم گفتم: آيا جاى پارک ثابتى داري؟ چرا ماشينت را اين قدر دور از در ورودى پارک ميکنى در حالى که جلوتر هم جاى پارک هست؟
او در جواب گفت: براى اين که ما زود ميرسيم و وقت براى پيادهرفتن داريم. اين جاها را بايد براى کسانى بگذاريم که ديرتر ميرسند و احتياج به جاى پارکى نزديکتر به در ورودى دارند تا به موقع به سرکارشان برسند. تو اين طور فکر نميکني؟
ميزان شرمندگى مرا خودتان حدس بزنيد.
اين روزها، جنبشى در اروپا راه افتاده به نام غذاى آهسته (Slow Food). اين جنبش ميگويد که مردم بايد به آهستگى بخورند و بياشامند، وقت کافى براى چشيدن غذايشان داشته باشند، و بدون هرگونه عجله و شتابى با افراد خانواده و دوستانشان وقت بگذرانند. غذاى آهسته در نقطه مقابل غذاى سريع (Fast Food) و الزاماتى که در سبک زندگى به همراه دارد قرار ميگيرد. غذاى آهسته پايه جنبش بزرگترى است که توسط مجله بيزنس طرح شده و يک "اروپاى آهسته" ناميده شده است. اين جنبش اساساً حس شتاب و ديوانگي به وجود آمده بر اثر نهضت جهانى شدن را زير سوال ميبرد. نهضتى که کميّت را جايگزين کيفيت در همه شئون زندگى ما کرده است.
مردم فرانسه با وجودى که ٣٥ ساعت در هفته کار ميکنند امّا از آمريکائيها و انگليسيها مولّدترند. آلمانيها ساعت کار هفتگى را به 28/8 ساعت تقليل دادهاند و مشاهده کردهاند که بهرهورى و قدرت توليدشان ٢٠درصد افزايش يافته است. اين گرايش به آهستگى و کندکردن جريان شتاب آلود زندگى، حتى نظر آمريکائيها را هم جلب کرده است.
البته اين گرايش به عدم شتاب، به معنى کمتر کار کردن يا بهرهورى کمتر نيست. بلکه به معنى انجام کارها با کيفيت، بهرهورى و کمال بيشتر، با توجه بيشتر به جزئيات و با استرس کمتر است. به معنى برقرارى مجدّد ارزشهاى خانوادگى و به دست آوردن زمان آزاد و فراغت بيشتر است.
به معنى چسبيدن به حال در مقابل آينده نامعلوم و تعريف نشده است. به معنى بها دادن به يکى از اساسيترين ارزشهاى انسانى يعنى ساده زندگى کردن است. هدف جنبش آهستگى، محيطهاى کارى کم تنشتر، شادتر و مولّدترى است که در آن، انسانها از انجام دادن کارى که چگونگى انجام دادنش را به خوبى بلدند، لذت ميبرند. اکنون زمان آن فرا رسيده است که توقف کنيم و درباره اين که چگونه شرکتها به توليد محصولاتى با کيفيت بهتر، در يک محيط آرامتر و بيشتاب و با بهرهورى بيشتر نياز دارند، فکر کنيم.
بسيارى از ما زندگى خود را به دويدن در پشت سر زمان ميگذرانيم امّا تنها هنگامى به آن ميرسيم که بر اثر سکته قلبى يا در يک تصادف رانندگى به خاطر عجله براى سر وقت رسيدن به سر قرارى، بميريم.
بسيارى از ما آنقدر نگران و مضطرب زندگى خود در آينده هستيم که زندگى خود در حال حاضر، يعنى تنها زمانى که واقعاً وجود دارد را فراموش ميکنيم.
همه ما در سراسر جهان، زمان برابرى در اختيار داريم. هيچکس بيشتر يا کمتر ندارد. تفاوت در اين است که هر يک از ما با زمانى که در اختيار داريم چکار ميکنيم. ما نياز داريم که هر لحظه را زندگى کنيم. به گفته جان لنون، خواننده معروف: زندگى آن چيزى است که براى تو اتفاق ميافتد، در حالى که تو سرگرم برنامهريزيهاى ديگرى هستى.
به شما به خاطر اين که تا پايان اين مطلب را خوانديد تبريک ميگوئيم. بسيارى هستند که براى هدر ندادن زمان، از وسط مطلب آن را رها ميکنند تا از قافله جهانى شدن عقب نمانند!
با تشکر از گروه روزنه
سوئد در حدود 450000 کيلومتر مربع وسعت دارد.
سوئد حدود 9 ميليون جمعيت دارد.
استكهلم، پايتخت سوئد كه به پايتخت اسكانديناوي نيز مشهور است حدود 78000 نفر جمعيت دارد.
ولوو، اسکانيا، ساب، الکترولوکس و اريکسون برخى از شرکتهاى توليدى سوئد هستند.
اولين روزهايي كه در سوئد بودم، يکى از همکارانم هر روز صبح با ماشينش مرا از هتل برميداشت و به محل کار ميبرد. ماه سپتامبر بود و هوا کمى سرد و برفى. ما صبحها زود به کارخانه ميرسيديم و همکارم ماشينش را در نقطه دورى نسبت به ورودى ساختمان پارک ميکرد. در آن زمان، ٢٠٠٠ کارمند ولوو با ماشين شخصى به سر کار ميآمدند.
روز اول، من چيزى نگفتم، همين طور روز دوم و سوم. روز چهارم به همکارم گفتم: آيا جاى پارک ثابتى داري؟ چرا ماشينت را اين قدر دور از در ورودى پارک ميکنى در حالى که جلوتر هم جاى پارک هست؟
او در جواب گفت: براى اين که ما زود ميرسيم و وقت براى پيادهرفتن داريم. اين جاها را بايد براى کسانى بگذاريم که ديرتر ميرسند و احتياج به جاى پارکى نزديکتر به در ورودى دارند تا به موقع به سرکارشان برسند. تو اين طور فکر نميکني؟
ميزان شرمندگى مرا خودتان حدس بزنيد.
اين روزها، جنبشى در اروپا راه افتاده به نام غذاى آهسته (Slow Food). اين جنبش ميگويد که مردم بايد به آهستگى بخورند و بياشامند، وقت کافى براى چشيدن غذايشان داشته باشند، و بدون هرگونه عجله و شتابى با افراد خانواده و دوستانشان وقت بگذرانند. غذاى آهسته در نقطه مقابل غذاى سريع (Fast Food) و الزاماتى که در سبک زندگى به همراه دارد قرار ميگيرد. غذاى آهسته پايه جنبش بزرگترى است که توسط مجله بيزنس طرح شده و يک "اروپاى آهسته" ناميده شده است. اين جنبش اساساً حس شتاب و ديوانگي به وجود آمده بر اثر نهضت جهانى شدن را زير سوال ميبرد. نهضتى که کميّت را جايگزين کيفيت در همه شئون زندگى ما کرده است.
مردم فرانسه با وجودى که ٣٥ ساعت در هفته کار ميکنند امّا از آمريکائيها و انگليسيها مولّدترند. آلمانيها ساعت کار هفتگى را به 28/8 ساعت تقليل دادهاند و مشاهده کردهاند که بهرهورى و قدرت توليدشان ٢٠درصد افزايش يافته است. اين گرايش به آهستگى و کندکردن جريان شتاب آلود زندگى، حتى نظر آمريکائيها را هم جلب کرده است.
البته اين گرايش به عدم شتاب، به معنى کمتر کار کردن يا بهرهورى کمتر نيست. بلکه به معنى انجام کارها با کيفيت، بهرهورى و کمال بيشتر، با توجه بيشتر به جزئيات و با استرس کمتر است. به معنى برقرارى مجدّد ارزشهاى خانوادگى و به دست آوردن زمان آزاد و فراغت بيشتر است.
به معنى چسبيدن به حال در مقابل آينده نامعلوم و تعريف نشده است. به معنى بها دادن به يکى از اساسيترين ارزشهاى انسانى يعنى ساده زندگى کردن است. هدف جنبش آهستگى، محيطهاى کارى کم تنشتر، شادتر و مولّدترى است که در آن، انسانها از انجام دادن کارى که چگونگى انجام دادنش را به خوبى بلدند، لذت ميبرند. اکنون زمان آن فرا رسيده است که توقف کنيم و درباره اين که چگونه شرکتها به توليد محصولاتى با کيفيت بهتر، در يک محيط آرامتر و بيشتاب و با بهرهورى بيشتر نياز دارند، فکر کنيم.
بسيارى از ما زندگى خود را به دويدن در پشت سر زمان ميگذرانيم امّا تنها هنگامى به آن ميرسيم که بر اثر سکته قلبى يا در يک تصادف رانندگى به خاطر عجله براى سر وقت رسيدن به سر قرارى، بميريم.
بسيارى از ما آنقدر نگران و مضطرب زندگى خود در آينده هستيم که زندگى خود در حال حاضر، يعنى تنها زمانى که واقعاً وجود دارد را فراموش ميکنيم.
همه ما در سراسر جهان، زمان برابرى در اختيار داريم. هيچکس بيشتر يا کمتر ندارد. تفاوت در اين است که هر يک از ما با زمانى که در اختيار داريم چکار ميکنيم. ما نياز داريم که هر لحظه را زندگى کنيم. به گفته جان لنون، خواننده معروف: زندگى آن چيزى است که براى تو اتفاق ميافتد، در حالى که تو سرگرم برنامهريزيهاى ديگرى هستى.
به شما به خاطر اين که تا پايان اين مطلب را خوانديد تبريک ميگوئيم. بسيارى هستند که براى هدر ندادن زمان، از وسط مطلب آن را رها ميکنند تا از قافله جهانى شدن عقب نمانند!
با تشکر از گروه روزنه
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Meanings of ...
Do you know what is family?
Do you really understand what is behind the word family?
It gives me a shock when I know the answer.
So long I never realize I don't know the real
Meaning of family...... ....
Here Is The Answer ........... FAMILY =
(F)ather
(A)nd
(M)other
(I)
(L)ove
(Y)ou
WHY does a man want to have a WIFE? Because:
(W)ashing
(I)roning
(F)ood
(E)ntertainment
WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?
because:
(H)ousing
(U)nderstanding
(S)haring
(B)uying
(A)nd
(N)ever
(D)emanding
Do you know that a simple "HELLO" can be a sweet one?
Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from theboyfriend/girlfrien d).
The word HELLO means :
(H)ow are you?
(E)verything all right?
(L)ike to hear from you
(L)ove to see you soon!
(O)bviously, I miss you
Do you really understand what is behind the word family?
It gives me a shock when I know the answer.
So long I never realize I don't know the real
Meaning of family...... ....
Here Is The Answer ........... FAMILY =
(F)ather
(A)nd
(M)other
(I)
(L)ove
(Y)ou
WHY does a man want to have a WIFE? Because:
(W)ashing
(I)roning
(F)ood
(E)ntertainment
WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?
because:
(H)ousing
(U)nderstanding
(S)haring
(B)uying
(A)nd
(N)ever
(D)emanding
Do you know that a simple "HELLO" can be a sweet one?
Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from theboyfriend/girlfrien d).
The word HELLO means :
(H)ow are you?
(E)verything all right?
(L)ike to hear from you
(L)ove to see you soon!
(O)bviously, I miss you
4 Things Which Cannot Be Recovered
A beautiful young woman was waiting for her flight in the airport lounge. She would need to wait many hours; she decided to buy a book to spend her time. She also bought a packet of cookies. She sat down in an armchair, in the VIP room of the airport, to rest and read in peace.
Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading.
When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought: “What a nerve! If I was in the mood I would punch him for daring!” For each cookie she took, the man took one too. This was infuriating her but she didn’t want to cause a scene.
When only one cookie remained, she thought: “ah... What this abusive man do now?”
Then, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half. Ah! That was too much! She was much too angry now!
In a huff, she took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place.When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her purse to take her eyeglasses, and, to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, unopened! She felt so ashamed!! She realized that she was wrong... She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse.
The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter. ...while she had been very angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him .And now there was no chance to explain herself...nor to apologize.” There are 4 things that cannot be recovered:
The stone... ...after the throw!
The word... palavra... ...after it’s said!
The occasion.... after the loss!
and...The time.....after it’s gone!
Beside the armchair where the packet of cookies lay, a man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading.
When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also. She felt irritated but said nothing. She just thought: “What a nerve! If I was in the mood I would punch him for daring!” For each cookie she took, the man took one too. This was infuriating her but she didn’t want to cause a scene.
When only one cookie remained, she thought: “ah... What this abusive man do now?”
Then, the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one half. Ah! That was too much! She was much too angry now!
In a huff, she took her book, her things and stormed to the boarding place.When she sat down in her seat, inside the plane, she looked into her purse to take her eyeglasses, and, to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched, unopened! She felt so ashamed!! She realized that she was wrong... She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse.
The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter. ...while she had been very angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him .And now there was no chance to explain herself...nor to apologize.” There are 4 things that cannot be recovered:
The stone... ...after the throw!
The word... palavra... ...after it’s said!
The occasion.... after the loss!
and...The time.....after it’s gone!
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The Donkey Attitude
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, Everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, Everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Senior Driving
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
Supersex
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex."
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!!!
"Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
Friday, April 13, 2007
Iranina Community in U.S.
Research results on the Iranian American community conducted under MIT.Another reason it's important to proudly identify ourselves as Iranians. This type of research results has profound effect on funding for cultural, social, educational and political inititives. By Phyllis McIntoshWashington File Special Correspondent Washington
-- Iranian-Americans are more numerous in the United States than census data indicate and are among the most highly educated and prosperous people in the country, according to research by the MIT Studies Group, an independent academic organization, at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (M IT). The group estimates that the actual number of Iranian-Americans may top 691,000 -- more than twice the figure of 338,000 cited in the 2000 U.S. census.
According to the latest census data available, more than one in four Iranian-Americans holds a master's or doctoral degree, the highest rate among any of the 67 largest ethnic groups studied from Europe, Former Soviet Union, Asia, Australia, South and Latin America. With their high level of educational attainment and a median family income 20 percent higher than the national US average, Iranian-Americans contribute substantially to the U.S. economy. Through surveys of Fortune 500 companies and other major corporations, the researchers identified more than 50 Iranian-Americans in senior leadership positions at companies with more than $200 million in asset value, including General Electric, AT&T, Verizon, Intel, Cisco, Motorola, Oracle, Nortel Networks, Lucent Technologies, and eBay.
Fortune magazine ranks Iranian Born Pierre Omidyar, founder and chairman of the board of eBay, the wildly popular online auction company, as the second richest American entrepreneur under age 40 with an estimated wealth of over seven billion dollars. Iranian-Americans are also prominent in academia. According to a preliminary list compiled by ISG, there are more than 500 Iranian-American professors teaching and doing advanced research at top-ranked U.S. universities, including MIT, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Carnegie Mellon, the University of California system (Berkeley, UCLA, etc.), Stanford, the University of Southern California, Georgia Tech, University of Wisconsin, University of Michigan, University of Illinois, University of Maryland, California Institute of Technology, Boston University, George Washington University, and hundreds of other universities and colleges throughout the United States.
Iranians have achieved a high level of success in the United States because unlike many immigrants, most left their homeland for social, political, or religious reasons, rather than in search of economic opportunity. The two large waves of immigrants who came to the United States because of the 1979 revolution in Iran consisted mainly of people with education and assets, he notes. "These were people who could make it to the U.S. and sustain themselves in the U.S. It was a pre-selection, not your typical immigration where people come mainly for financial reasons," he said. In another recently issued report, the Iranian Studies Group has undertaken the mission of convincing Iranian-Americans to become more active participants in the American political process. According to surveys in some major cities, fewer than 10 percent voted in the last presidential election. The report cites the experiences of other ethnic groups, such as Israeli-Americans, Arab-Americans, and Cuban-Americans, to show how Iranians could use their collective voice to influence U.S. foreign policy regarding Iran and address the needs of the Iranian-American community.
JESUS
THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH:
- HE NEVER GOT MARRIED
- HE NEVER HELD A STEADY JOB
- HIS LAST REQUEST WAS A DRINK
THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN:
- HIS FIRST NAME WAS JESUS
- HE WAS ALWAYS IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW
- HIS MOTHER DIDN'T KNOW WHO HIS FATHER WAS
THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
- HE TALKED WITH HIS HANDS
- HE HAD WINE WITH EVERY MEAL
- HE WORKED IN THE BUILDING TRADES
THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK:
- HE CALLED EVERYBODY BROTHER
- HE HAD NO PERMANENT ADDRESS
- NOBODY WOULD HIRE HIM
THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN:
- HE NEVER CUT HIS HAIR
- HE WALKED AROUND BAREFOOT
- HE INVENTED A NEW RELIGION
AND FINALLY, THE PROOF THAT JESUS WAS IRANIAN:
- HE WENT INTO HIS FATHER'S BUSINESS
- HE LIVED AT HOME UNTIL THE AGE OF 33
- HE WAS SURE HIS MOTHER WAS A VIRGIN,
- AND HIS MOTHER WAS SURE HE WAS GOD
- HE NEVER GOT MARRIED
- HE NEVER HELD A STEADY JOB
- HIS LAST REQUEST WAS A DRINK
THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN:
- HIS FIRST NAME WAS JESUS
- HE WAS ALWAYS IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW
- HIS MOTHER DIDN'T KNOW WHO HIS FATHER WAS
THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
- HE TALKED WITH HIS HANDS
- HE HAD WINE WITH EVERY MEAL
- HE WORKED IN THE BUILDING TRADES
THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK:
- HE CALLED EVERYBODY BROTHER
- HE HAD NO PERMANENT ADDRESS
- NOBODY WOULD HIRE HIM
THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN:
- HE NEVER CUT HIS HAIR
- HE WALKED AROUND BAREFOOT
- HE INVENTED A NEW RELIGION
AND FINALLY, THE PROOF THAT JESUS WAS IRANIAN:
- HE WENT INTO HIS FATHER'S BUSINESS
- HE LIVED AT HOME UNTIL THE AGE OF 33
- HE WAS SURE HIS MOTHER WAS A VIRGIN,
- AND HIS MOTHER WAS SURE HE WAS GOD
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
300
To download the anti-Persian Movie "300" please click on the following link:
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